packing, pain, packing, panicking and packing again!

For the last 3 weeks or so I have been packing and repacking and repacking my bag and Lilys bag for the hospital. I've changed the bag I've been using twice and landed up with my first choice again. Pretty much every second or third day I go through all the stuff I've packed up to now and usually add something or take something out. Its really quite ridiculous, but it makes me feel so much more in control-in a situation that Im absolutely controlless (I do'nt think that's a word but it sums up what I'm feeling). I have packed 4 outfits for Lily (and told Shaun which one is for her to wear when- I just hope he remembers! Yes it is important!) as well as a receiver and a fluffy blanket and a teddy bear- just in case she has to be away from me so shes not alone.  I've also packed her a dummy, bottle (for just in case), toiletries, wet wipes and nappies. I've packed it all in her gorgeous Lou Harvey nappy bag that my mom bought us, its amazing!

 For me I've used a pink duffel bag I bought in Bali and I've got a pair of PJs (I need at least one more pair-possibly 2 more) and slippers and a gown (that doesnt close but will hopefully after). I've also got a book called "how to crack an egg with one hand" that my mom bought me-full of useful stuff for moms.

 Also toiletries, cell phone charger, my notebook full of lists of things, some sucking sweet (apparently the gas and air makes you really thirsty and sparkles are the best thing for it). Um, 8 hour cream (which I cant live without), my Ipod and a whole load of other bits and bobs. You would never think we live 2 mins from the hospital, the way I'm obsessing over these stupid bags!

I've been in a lot of pain the last few days, she hasn't dropped yet but my pelvis and hips are really hurting and click when I roll over in bed which sucks. I'm also getting really bad leg cramps at night, which really keep me awake or wake me up. So I'm really looking forward to her coming out so I can go back to feeling normal. I hope she comes at 38 weeks, I really think she will, I think she'll come on the 27th (trying to think it into reality) Shaun says between the 1st and the 5th. So well see!

xox

Blessings

I read a quote yesterday that said "What if you woke up today with only the things you thanked God for yesterday" and I thought "what would I land up with?" I'd land up with a healthy baby, my wonderful husband and my awesome friends and family. I never seem to thank God for my house, or car or new dishwasher, but for the people that make my life worth living. What are we really without the people in our lives? Empty shells with nothing else. I am as materialistic as the next person- let's be honest now, but when it comes down to it none of that stuff matters. So this post is about counting my many blessings. I am first and for mostly blessed with the most wonderful husband, who is kind and caring and is going to be such an amazing father to our little girl. I'm also blessed with my little girl, although I haven't met her yet, I have such a bond with her already. I feel as if I've known her for years and she's not even here yet. 
Shaun and I are blessed with such wonderful parents. They are so giving and caring and help us out all the time, they just support us and offer us such guidance and strength and we are so so lucky to have them. I hope they all know that "thank you" can never express the enormous gratitude we feel towards them. 
Our siblings and wonderful friends and family are a daily blessing to us, for always offering an ear to moan to about being pregnant for 50 years, or just a chat about the weather. They are always there no matter what, and I only hope they know that we are there for them as well. 
We're both blessed with grandparents- in fact I'm blessed with two great grandmothers! They are a wealth of support and love to us and constantly check in, purely because they love us. Our little girl is about to be born into this spectacular family, and she is going to bring us such joy. She's a very lucky girl in my opinion!

Big Baby

When we went for out 32 week scan my doctor said BIG BABY! He said she was getting very big and advised I went for a Gestational Diabetes test just to ensure there was nothing wrong with my sugar levels. He didn't seem worried at all, as she was only 400g over the usual size, but was just being cautious. So I had to go and get blood taken- which I just loved :-s and then drink this sweet lemonade and wait an hour and be poked again and get more blood taken. Turns out everything is fine, shes just big. Shes not actually that big but the doc wont deliver her naturally if shes bigger than 4 kgs in case her shoulders get stuck. So I'm ok with that, although I really don't want a C-section if its the best thing for us I'll do it. Thankfully our doctor doesn't like C-sections at all so he wont push it if not absolutely necessary. She was 2.9 at our last scan, which was 34 weeks- Im now 36 weeks and our next scan is Thursday. I don't think she'll be 4 kgs, the doc thinks she'll be 3.7 which is a good size. I hope she comes in the next 2 weeks- Im a bit over this now!

Baby Shower

My baby shower was on the 9th July in Jhb at my moms house. I flew up on the Thursday and hung out with my dad on Thursday night and spent the day with my mom on Friday. Saturday was spent rushing around cooking and prepping for the 30 plus people we had invited. Firstly Russell arrived bringing millions of floating pink balloons and beautiful flowers, they Jenn arrived and turned the house into a pink baby paradise! Mom made the most amazing food and we were finally ready. Everyone arrived at 2 and I was flabbergasted at the amount of presents we received! I had seriously thought I'd fit most of what we got into my suitcase! HA! Thank goodness for my mom in law who was driving down to Durbs the following week, and offered to bring it all down. We had a lovely time, although I didn't get to spend as much time with everyone as I had hoped. We got so spoilt and I have 99% of the stuff I need for Lily now! Here are some pics of our wonderful day!

101 things you didn't know about me...

1. Ive always wanted to be a mom
2. but I never thought Id have my own kids, I always thought I'd adopt.
3. until I met my soul mate!
4. I love being married more than anything
5. I lived in JHB my whole life but live on the coast now and happier than Ive ever been.
6. I love cooking
7. My favorite comfort food is home made Mac and Cheese with tomoato sauce
8. Creme Brule is my favorite dessert.
9. I have a younger brother who I adore, and constantly worry about.
10. My biggest fear is losing someone I love
11. Im terrified of needles< but not of the pain. The thought of them poking me freaks me out.
12. Im also terrified of spiders, but not of being bitten. Im scared they touch me.
13. Everyday I wish my parents didnt get divorced, even though they have been apart for 10 years now.
14. My have to forgive my step mother everyday, so that one day hopefully Ill stop blaming her.
15. I am a passifist and dont like conflict
16. Im not very creative, but I wish I was!
17. when i think horrible thoughts about people I berate myself and apologize to them...in my thoughts.
18. I belive thoughts can change things
19. I believe what goes around comes around, so I try to be nice to everyone I meet
20. I hate racism
21. especially women who are racist, I find it much more offensive than when a man is racist
22. I openly admit im sexist.
23. I very rarely swear
24. I try hard not to judge others, although I have to remind myslef of this often
25. especially when I see parents not strapping their children in- this makes my blood boil.
26. i thank the ATM when it gives me money, not always in my mind.
27. I pray every night
28. the first thing I say is Thank you for my hubby
29. I love religion
30. But I'm not at all religious
31. I'm very spiritual and believe what I believe with everything I have
32. I still have two Great- Grandmothers, but no Great- Grandfathers
33. I don't believe in heaven and hell, even though I grew up terrified of the devil
34. I remember the second I realized that I didnt believe in any of it
35. Im not very clever (I'm not being modest) but I read a lot so I sound clever.
36. I read so fast I usually read my books four or five times.
37. Im a Harry Potter addict and just about know the books off by heart
38. All I want from my kids is that they are kind
39. The worst thing my kids could be are bullies
40. I wish I could be a hippy, its just not a look I could pull off.
41. I'm the kind of person who wont be happy anywhere, I'm always thinking "where to next"
42. I loved England and will live there again one day
43. As soon as I landed in Australia I wanted to go home.
44. I hate having a maid, but unfortunately I'm a terrible house keeper so have a lady who comes in once a week.
45. I can do pretty much any style in my hair using my GHD, its my most prized possession.
46. When I found out I was pregnant I went blank, then sat on the toilet and smiled for like five mins
47. I have a cat named Milkshake who is so special, he has a wonderful little soul and I'm so glad we saved him from the SPCA when we did.
48. I wish I could do more to help the starving people in the world, but I don't know where to start.
49. I always wanted to have bright red hair, like Ariel the mermaid
50. I love feeling my baby kick, but other than that I'm not enjoying being pregnant. I hate being so huge.
51. I've never won anything
52. I get very upset when people are rude to me, it can destroy my whole day
53. I have a fantastic relationship with both my parents
54. My cousin is like a sister to me, and I miss her so much now that she's moved away
55. I think cheating is the worst thing someone can ever do
56. closely followed by lying
57. My husband is a fantastic surfer and is only truly happy when he's in the water, I'll never move in-land purely because I know how much he'll miss the sea
58. I'm terrified of the sea and the waves
59. My brother is incredibly intelligent, and most of the time I have no idea what he's talking about
60. I'm pretty good with computers- although this is thanks largely to Google.
61. I have a soul friend in Jenni, she is the most wonderful person and I hope her life is perfect.
62. I have very sensitive skin and terrible eczema.
63. I meet people very easily
64. but I'm pretty happy with my own company
65. I would love to own a book store
66. I have a BA in Corporate Communications.
67. I wish I had studied hairdressing, but feel that its to late now
68. I'd also have loved to be a GP
69. I remember my dad being horrified when I said I wanted to be a secretary one day when I'm big, but I still think its a cool job!
70. I spend 97% of my time worrying something will go wrong with my baby.
71. the other 3% of my time is spent telling myself not to worry
72. I hate making phone calls to people I don't know, but do it just about daily
73. I had laser surgery on my eyes a year ago, and it was the scariest thing I've ever done- but so worth while
74. I'm a terrible speller, so I use spell check all the time
75. My pet peeve is bad spelling and grammar
76. I work from home, which I love and hate. I get so lonely.
77. As a recruitment agent I have had to fire two people. Both times I cried.
78. Every time I leave the house I check I've turned my hair straightener off, whether I've used it or not. I'm so scared the house burns down and its my fault
79. I cant believe people drive drunk, I'll never understand it.
80. I'm not a big drinker because I get sick to quickly and don't like the taste of alcohol
81. I miss Shaun so much when we're apart, even just for a day
82. He once worked away for 5 weeks...it was hell from day one.
83. I'd rather my kids have their dad with them all the time than have buckets of money
84. I hate discussing weight, yours, mine, anyone's. I hate it.
85. My parents took us travelling when we were younger, and so I have seen most of Europe and America. I have wonderful memories from these trips.
86. My favorite song in the whole world is Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen, it was my dance with my dad at my wedding.
87. It rained all day on my wedding day, but I didn't mind.
88. I can read violent books, but not watch violent movies.
89. I love flowers that look like cartoons, that's why Gerberers are my favorite
90. I love Disney!
91. I'm a handbag person more than a shoe person. I'd rather spend money on a handbag.
92. I hate telling the time on a normal clock
93. I always mix up my lefts and rights.
94. I also have to consciously think which way a "b" and a "d" go when I'm writing
95. I actually don't mind washing dishes
96. but HATE washing the floor
97. I laugh at stupid jokes for ages, and will often wake myself up laughing at something dum.
98. I don't like going out to clubs, although I have fun when I'm out. I prefer to go out to dinner or a braai so I can talk.
99. My babys name is Lily and my cousins baby is James. Together we have Harry Potters parents. No it wasn't planned.
100. I only drink Rooibos tea, normal tea smells disgusting to me.
101. I love all things pink and sparkly!

Baby School

Im just loving antenatal classes. the midwife is very nice, she's funny and seems to really know what shes doing. I think shes a bit over protective, in that she is an absolute purist, wants us to only eat the healthiest food, exercise, breast feed for two years or longer. Unfortunately this isn't possible all the time! I wont be breastfeeding for two years for sure, I think its way to long and is a bit weird. My aim to to do it for 8 months, but if I decide after 3 months to stop that's ok too, I'm not putting any pressure on myself. I'm trying my best to eat healthily, having smoothies or cereal for breakfast, a sarmie for lunch and a good dinner. I've always eaten pretty healthily so it's not too hard, however I refuse to totally cut out all sweets and choc, milo, bacon, sausages and the millions of other things she has told us to avoid. I'm not eating loads but geez, when this baby comes I wont be allowed any of it (for breastfeeding and weight loss) so I'm using my discretion, my baby will tell me what I feel like and don't feel like and she's the boss! This weeks class we went up to the labor ward, delivery room and maternity ward. I'v got to say I was a bit creeped out when I saw the delivery room, its got this high bed that sort of splits and has stirrups fixed on the sides. There is an incubator and a table thing to put the baby on that has a heater and stuff. I've never stayed over night in hospital, and have only been in twice for other things so I'm a bit nervous. The classes make it all easier though because we get to meet the staff and connect with other couples who are in the same boat as us. We spoke about what we need to pack in our bags for the labor ward and maternity ward and now that's all I can think of! I'm obsessing over what bag to take, what to wear, what Lily will wear...ugh driving myself mad.
I'm getting a cold, which really sucks as my already aching body is aching even more now. But at least the weather is nice and its half way through the week! One week closer to my baby shower, seeing my baby again and the big day!

26 week scan and 4D scan

Had our 26 week scan, shes a healthy 1kg and is a happy bouncing butterfly in my tummy! heres some pics:

today we went and had our 4D scan, at 28 weeks. she was so uncooperative but eventually we managed to see her face!