Smiles

I am just loving being a mother.

Don't get me wrong, its not easy. Getting up every four hours at night is exhausting, and I find if she wakes up after 3 and a half hours I can actually cry. Just that half an hour is so important to me! Breastfeeding is also not that easy, being the only one who can feed my precious one and spending hours sitting alone in rooms at parties, isn't fun. As for the projectile vomiting and explosive pooing... Well that's another story all together!

But all in all? Its much easier than I thought it would be! I don't know what I expected, but I really thought it would be worse. I expected much less sleep and I expected breastfeeding to be really painful. The stories everyone told me, I was convinced I'd be a tired bleeding nippled crazy person. But I'm not. Well I am still a crazy person, due to sleep deprivation! But I still function ok.

I still feel incredibly incompetent most of the time. I don't seem to ever know what to do when, and I'm constantly sending messages to all my other mommy friends asking for help and advice. Thankfully they're all fantastic and offer constant reassurance and support.

Things I haven't figures out yet:
1. How to breastfeed or express without getting full of milk or getting Lily full of milk. The other day I somehow managed to spray her in the eye. I laughed for ages about that, which probably makes me a bad mommy but she didn't seem to fazed.
2. How to avoid getting Lilys clothes, changing mat and myself full of poo when I change a poo nappy.
3. How to shower, bath or go to the toilet during the day when I don't have someone to watch her.
4. How to avoid sneezing as soon as she FINALLY falls asleep after trying to get her down for ages. Resulting in a spectacular splayed arms, wide eyed fright!
5. How to have my usual cup of coffee while its still hot in the morning. I'm to scared to drink it while holding/feeding her because I'm a notoriously bad drinker and I'm worried I spill on her. Haven't had a hot cup of coffee in ages!
6. I still don't know the words to most of the lullabies and baby songs that seem to calm her down. So I either sing twinkle twinkle little star on repeat or I make them up.
7. How to have a conversation on the phone that is not ended with, I have to go Lilys crying/hungry/awake.
8. How to not drop everything I'm doing to smile and laugh when she smiles at me. When I look at her and get a sparkly eyed smile back, I can't carry on doing what I was planning on doing, I have to smile and laugh and cuddle my sweetheart. This is mostly why I don't get anything done during the day!

Things I have mastered!
1. How to eat any meal with my fingers, left handed. Lily always seems to be hungry as soon as I sit down for a meal. And its very hard to eat with a fork when you have to do it one handed with a baby latched onto your chest, so I use my fingers. Not the most polite thing to do I know, but if I didn't, I'd starve.
2. How to eat a meal in 5 mins flat. When I do get chance to eat without feeding her, I eat so fast because I'm SURE she's gonna kick off any second.
3. Changing a wet nappy before nighttime feeds before she wakes up enough to start crying. Quick quick quick!
4. Typing blog posts/ twitter status/ facebook status/ emails or bbms with one hand on my BB
5. Night time feeds. I'm so organised they go by so easily.
6. Swaddling
7.Waking up just before she wakes for a feed, thereby avoiding any crying!
8. Singing, rocking and reading my twitter feed at the same time.

Like I've said in a previous post (101 things about me) all I've ever wanted is to be a mother, and its better than I ever thought it would be!